I got my hair cut today. To my great relief and wonderment, the woman who cut my hair refrained from engaging me in conversation; it's amazing how peaceful a haircut can be spared the usual banter.

I'd like to live in a society where, at least once a week, no one spoke. No trivial pleasantries, no public diatribes, no cellphone theatrics. Just a few times a month . . . or else the offender is quietly dragged into the back of a soundproof van and shot in the head.