Tuesday, February 24, 2004

I'm totally out of it. Clueless. Square. Unhip.

Examples: I don't give a damn about perusing new/emerging bands. I see maybe two or three new movies a year. I don't think Britney Spears is sexy. I have literally no idea when sport seasons begin or end. I don't know who was in the Super Bowl. The last time I saw a music video was sometime in '98. I have yet to sample fondue or make a pilgrimage to a hypermall. I don't especially like beer.

By the standards of the military-industrial-entertainment complex, I'm an abject failure, destined for unperson-hood. I fully expect men in black suits to some knocking at my door wearing expressions of mixed disdain and sympathy: "Mr. Tonnies, if you'll just come with us. We know who can help you."

I am the dead.